Sacrament of Confession

Confession is neither a formality nor a ritual. It is an effective understanding of the fact that a committed sin is an ever-present separation from the Creator and from true life, the center of which is Love. God’s plan for man is for everyone to live in purity and peace with Him and with people, to do good deeds, and to fulfill His commandments. Through these, everyone should strive to be perfect, so that after the end of earthly life we may unite with Him in eternal life.

But every offense, every unkind thought, condemnation of our neighbor (even those not spoken aloud), and even more so fornication, drunkenness, pride, and neglect of our loved ones separates us from the Creator, next to Whom there can be no sin. Repentance and the struggle against one’s passions can repair this man-made separation between God and man in the Sacrament of Penance.

God teaches us that for every sin we do not repent of (meaning sins for which we do not admit our guilt and which we do not seek to remedy), we will have to answer at the Judgment of God. But the Lord gave us the opportunity to avoid the just punishment for our wickedness – by sincerely repenting to Him in the Sacrament of Confession. Jesus Christ voluntarily took our punishment upon Himself by suffering on the Cross. That is why Christ is called the Savior: by His sacrifice He saved us from slavery to sin and from death in sin. Therefore, God forgives the sins of those who follow Christ and His Church, that is, who profess Orthodoxy. After all, only in Christianity does a priest receive from God during ordination the authority to forgive or retain people’s sins, given to him according to the word of the Lord Jesus Christ: “Verily I say unto you, that which you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and that which you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven” (Matthew 18:18).

1. It is necessary to attempt to change your life even before Confession. Repentance in Greek is “metanoia,” which literally means “a change of mind.” Therefore, it is not enough to admit that you have committed certain offenses in your life. You must feel the unnaturalness of the sinful state within yourself and at least want to get rid of it, even if you do not yet have the strength to do so.

2. You need to find free time and remember – or better yet, write down – everything that has ever shamed you before the Lord and people in thoughts, words, and deeds. If you have never been to Confession, you should work through the memory of your entire life since childhood. If you forget something, consult “cheat sheets” – such as the books A Guide to Confession or The Experience of Preparing for Confession by Archimandrite John (Krestiankin). The main purpose is to understand what we have done wrong in our personal relationship with God, with our neighbor, and with ourselves, and to awaken the awareness that through repentance we are waging a personal and constant struggle against our passions.

3. When talking about your sins, you should not worry about how to name them “correctly” or “in church language.” Speak as you are used to speaking. Just remember that in Confession you should not justify yourself, neither minimize your sins nor blame others for them. All our misdeeds are our personal fault before God, and He will forgive anyone who asks Him for forgiveness.

4. A big obstacle to Confession for many people is false shame before the priest who will hear the confession. But we should always remember that in the Sacrament we appear before the Lord Himself and talk about our sins to Him; the priest is merely a witness of our repentance. Also, do not be afraid that the priest will be shocked by your confession. During his ministry, every clergyman hears almost every conceivable sin, and he will only be glad to hear your sincere repentance.

5. Since we ask God for forgiveness, we ourselves must first forgive our offenders. Christ says, “If you bring your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go first to be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24). If the sin has caused harm to a neighbor, it is necessary to make every effort to make amends for that harm before confession (give back what was stolen, be reconciled with the offended).

6. The Sacrament must be regular. Do not put off the next Confession for years. Participating in the Sacrament at least once a month helps to always be “in good shape,” to be attentive to daily life and responsible for it – for this is where our Christian faith should be expressed. People often think they do not have the strength to reform themselves, so they do not go to Confession, afraid of repeating the sin later. This is a wrong decision, which can be compared to refusing to take medicine. The strength needed for mending one’s life is precisely what God gives us through the grace active in the Sacraments of the Church.

Please note that in order to participate in the Sacrament of Confession, you must be an Orthodox Christian who has received the Sacrament of Baptism from a legitimate priest (those who were “baptized” in other religions, or by “grandmothers,” or by someone else should first contact the priest regarding the validity of their baptism).

You do not need to fast or read special prayers before Confession; you only need to prepare for the Sacrament and be reconciled with everyone.

1. I am the Lord your God; you shall have no other gods before me.
Sins: godlessness, pride and associated arrogance, vanity, neglect of daily Bible reading.

2. Do not make an idol for yourself; do not worship or serve them.
Sins: idolatry, practicing magic, divination, etc.; going to ‘wise women,’ occult healers, following astrology (guiding your life by horoscopes), participating in sects, invoking spirits, sycophancy, love of money.

3. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.
Sins: blasphemy, mockery of holy things, obscenity, wickedness, violation of a promise made to God.

4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy; six days you shall work, and the seventh day shall be a Sabbath to the Lord your God.
Sins: skipping Sunday and festive services, laziness/idleness.

5. Honor your father and your mother.
Sins: insulting parents, disrespecting them and not remembering them in prayers, cursing the priesthood and authorities, disrespecting elders and teachers.

6. You shall not murder.
Sins: murder, abortion, use of abortive contraceptives, anger, swearing, fighting, hatred, resentment, rancor, irritability.

7. You shall not commit adultery.
Sins: adultery, extramarital sex, homosexuality, masturbation, watching pornography.

8. You shall not steal.
Sins: theft, fraud, usury, avarice.

9. You shall not bear false witness.
Sins: perjury, lies, slander, gossip, betrayal, deceit.

10. You shall not covet anything that is your neighbor’s.
Sins: envy, discontent with one’s position.